Driving

Overview

At some point, your loved one will need to stop driving. This can be a tough conversation to have. For most Americans, driving means independence. But for people living with dementia, driving means risking their lives and the lives of other people on the road. People living with dementia don’t have the same fast reflexes they used to have and may get confused by things that didn’t use to confuse them. You know your loved one best and may already know how to have this conversation, but many people don’t. If that’s you, we have a few ideas about how to start that conversation:

Conversation Starters:

For some, it’s best to appeal to their ego (“Dad, you’ve worked so hard for us for so long. It’s about time you had a chauffeur!”)
Others will give up their keys if they understand that they could accidentally kill someone while driving.
  A few people may need to be told by their doctor. Their doctor might consider writing a prescription to stop driving or sending a letter to the Department of Motor Vehicles so that your loved one’s license gets revoked.
If your loved one still refuses to give up driving, the last resort could be disconnecting the car battery, hiding the car keys, or always saying the car is “at the shop” so that your loved one can’t drive.

Regardless of how it’s done, giving up driving can be a big emotional loss. Your loved one may grieve that loss like they would the loss of a friend, and that’s okay. If that sounds like your loved one, it’s important to respect their grief and give them space. When they’re ready to talk about it, find out what concerns they have about being unable to drive. This may help to figure out solutions and allow your loved one to feel better about the situation.

Driving Resources

There are ways to make this transition as smooth as possible and ensure your loved one can still get around safely. If you don’t drive and need transportation, there are at least four resources out there that can help. Also, your local Area Agency on Aging (AAA) may have options for transportation around your community.

Check with your Medicare Advantage plan. Some plans cover transportation to doctor appointments. Rides may have to be booked in advance, so check in at least a week before your appointment to find out.
Medicaid and the Program of All-Inclusive Care for the Elderly (PACE) programs often provide transportation for routine medical care.
1. Visit the U.S. Medicaid website as well as the National PACE Association (PACE 4 You) website for more information.
The Eldercare Locator has information about resources that may help. Eldercare Locator is a free public service of the United States Administration on Aging.
Dialing 211 for essential community services can connect you with a referral specialist to learn about services that support older adults, including transportation.a